Unsettling
Strange stuff happens sometimes.
Scary stuff. Unsettling stuff.
Ghosts. Creatures from folktales. Evil houses, Vampires.
Terrible stuff that only happens at Hallowe’en.
So they say.
The Haunted Picture Palace
They say the cinema is haunted
But maybe it’s just
That the silvered screen retains
An afterimage of fantasy, a glimmer of glamour
A shattering denouement with no audience
Dissipating undramatically into the cinema’s sleeping bones
Replaying strains of string-led refrains
Wilhelm screams repeating again and again
And repeating and repeating and then -
The awful pause before the shockingly final gunshot
Disjointed, fragmented remembrances
Celluloid daydreams that had a plot once
Now roam the empty rows without exposition
Flip the seats and throw popcorn
And they say there are certain seats
Reserved for dearly departed cinephiles
But maybe it’s just the unexpected and inopportune thrust
Of an antediluvian spring
Or the uncomfortable feeling of being observed
But no one sits in those certain seats
Not for long, at least
Yes, they say the cinema is haunted
But maybe it’s just
A random breeze clinking the lobby chandeliers
Echoes of screen kisses in a never- ending show-and-tell showreel
The faint follow-spots of a hundred usherettes’ torches long since gone out
Or the dome-shouldered outline of
A myriad monsters lumbering from the screen
The magic of the movies made manifest.
Dead Letter Office
The Manager tutted, said:
‘Those things’ll kill you.’
But they always had a crafty fag
On the back stairs
The smoke detector hadn’t had a new battery
Since McGann was the Doctor
And the fire door was always,
Well, when is a door not a door?
The whole place went up like the
Houses of Parliament back in 1605
Didn’t
Now they only look out
When no one is looking up
Mostly, they sit at ephemeral desks
Playing haunted Battleships on green screens
While the ghost of the photocopier
Chatters and spits out the memories
Of splayed faces at long-forgotten
Christmas do’s
And the Manager tuts, forever on repeat:
‘Those things’ll kill you.’
Ginny Greenteeth
Mind your footing at the lakeshore
It’s almost as if it’s deliberately slippery
One flailing move and you’re
Just close enough to touch
Her hair, duckweed floating in the wet
Limp, innocent-looking, lurking
A silent flash of her wet pebble eyes
Stinking emerald arms of plaited rope rise
Mandolin teeth a bare grin to slice and dice
Fish hook claws open to snag and grab
And in the time it takes a trout
To nab a mayfly
You’re gone
This House
The windows are the eyes
Of this house’s soul
Ready to replay
Each shocking episode
To some unsuspecting guest
This house is an elephant
Of stone and plaster
Nothing is forgotten
The wrongs they did
Every woeful disaster
This gate traps fingers for fun
This frontage always throws shade
This door slams like a gunshot
This house knows how to hate
This house loves to inflict pain
Welcome, Welcome
I hope your journey was not
Too tiring
Of course
An old building like this
Settles and creaks
And the pipes rattle
And moan
Doors will often open
Of their own accord
Faulty hinges
Warped frames
We really ought
To get a new handyman
But since the old one
Hanged himself
Well
I’m sure you understand
And the Countess
Up on the fourth floor
She loves the plays
On Radio Four
That’s the mournful wind
You hear wailing away
Just sound effects
Played a little too loud
Hard of hearing you see
She’s been here for years
Such a long, long time
Your suitcases are
Already in your room
I know
Almost magical, isn’t it?
I’m sure you’ll want to freshen up
Aperitifs at eight
The Countess will be eagerly
Expecting you for dinner
Open Door
The kids are standing
On the ‘I Dare You!’ porch
With mouthfuls of plastic fangs
Daubed with pasty face paint
And bloody make-up
‘Trick or treat!’
They scream soprano
The door creaks like a
Radio Four sound effect
To reveal a pitch interior
From somewhere in there
A voice like oil, bubbling
Asked: ‘Which is scarier?
The open door to let you in
Or the open door
To let something out?’
The kids scream again
The Darwinian impulse
Is not necessarily
Survival of the fittest
But simply being faster
Than the slowest
Anyway
Most of them got away
Be My Horror Film
Be my underwater zombie
Drag me down deep and eat my brains
Be my amorphous alien blob
Engulf me, overwhelm me
Reduce me to a stain
Be my ravenous were-beast
Tear out my heart
Raw and beating
Be my midnight graveyard ghoul
Just make sure it’s my remains you’re eating
You can also find this in issue 13 of The Starbeck Orion.